Surviving Summer with Kids
K.I.S.S. Remember that old adage? Keep. It. Simple. Sweetheart. Yeah, you probably thought it was Stupid, but as an EMDR certified therapist, I like to re-frame things in a more positive light and encourage clients to speak more kindly to themselves (so let’s leave stupid out of it, ok?).
At the end of winter 2023, I was reflecting on how the year feels like it’s “the MOST time of the year” rather than “the most wonderful time of the year”. I held numerous conversations with clients discussing all of the pressures they feel regarding the holidays. The expectations, the financial burden, family drama, the list goes on…
As I continued through the season, I noticed the common stories of MOST. My mom baked multiple batches of cookies so all of her people would get their favorite flavor. My friends and clients struggled to find joy in the season as they encountered the grief of a specific loved one missing from the festivities. I worked with clients processing intense loss from a variety of sources: finances, housing, loneliness due to proximity, the death of beloved pets, and some facing their first holiday season without full access to their children because of an ended partnership.
As a therapist, navigating vicarious trauma is real, and I began to notice how heavy everything was feeling for me too. I found myself feeling guilty and ashamed for not having the energy to plan anything fun with my family. I saw things other families were planning: trips to the mountains to ski, sledding, ice-skating, ice castles, baking cookies, traveling across the nation or abroad to see family, spending time crafting, creating, cooking, the list goes on and on. You name it. It all felt too overwhelming.
And then I started reflecting - what would make this time of year the most wonderful time for my family? What if it’s not about doing all of the things other families and friends are doing? What if it’s about being intentional with our own time and choosing what is most important in this season, right now?
I put this idea to work and directly asked my husband and kids, what would make this season the “most manageable” vs. “the most” for our family of four? What I heard from each of them was so unexpected, and yet, so simple. In fact, when I asked my family about how they wanted to spend intentional time over the Christmas season, I was not expecting every activity to be something we did right at home, but there it was. Each person picked their favorite holiday tradition and here is what our list included:
Bake and decorate sugar cookies together as a family
Decorate the tree together while listening to Christmas music
Build a Christmas puzzle together
Watch our favorite Christmas movies all snuggled together with hot cocoa and popcorn
So how does this relate to surviving the summer time with your kids? Well, it’s the same idea. You don’t have to do it all. Sure having a list full of screen free activities for the kids is great. Yes, I made one, and here’s Dr. Laura Markhams Age by Age Guide to Screen Free Activities that is also a great list to keep handy. The reality is, what you think your kids want to do, and what they actually want to do, may be completely different than you can imagine. If the story you’re telling yourself is “I must have something scheduled every day in order to have a great summer”. I’m here to tell you, that’s not true. K.I.S.S.
This summer, I went back to my greatest resource: my family. Again, I asked them how they want to spend their time intentionally this summer. And guess what? 8 out of 9 of their ideas are easy, non-expensive things that we can do at home or close to home. It doesn’t have to cost a ton of money to connect, keep the kids busy, and yourself sane this summer. It just takes intention and Keeping It Simple, Sweetheart.
For those who want to know, here’s our list:
Go to the creek to catch crawfish and play in the water
Picnic at the park and play sports together
Make handmade cards to send to people
Explore new parks around our area
Ride bikes on the local trail
Bubble & sprinkler party in the backyard
Go to the public library and stay and read for a couple hours
Hike new trails
Indoor skydiving
Here are some additional ideas I’m considering if you’re looking for more:
Ice cream at local shop
Summer music nights
Foster cats/dogs
4-wheel day trip
Camping trip
Day trips to nearby mountain towns
Movie marathon at home with concession stand
Lemonade stand
Movie fort night in the play house
Sleeping on the trampoline
S’more night
Splash pads
Scavenger hunt
Backyard obstacle course
Mini golf
Hammocks at the park
Geocaching
Baking day
Painting rocks
Which one of these ideas is your favorite? Or do you have a favorite not listed? Leave it in the comments.